Stereotypes of aging are everywhere: newspapers, magazines, movies, TV shows, and those insulting, mock-humorous birthday cards for sale in most drug stores.
For those of us over 50 or 60, hardly a day goes by that we don’t encounter assumptions about our presumed decline and decay. We’re over the hill, we can’t learn new things, and before long we won’t even remember the things we used to know.
I get that a lot of this stereotyping comes from denial of aging, a fear of confronting one’s own mortality. I also get that younger people often condescend to people over 50 or 60 with the utterly mistaken idea that they’re somehow being nice.
They refer admiringly to a grandfather who “still” climbs mountains or rides a Harley or jumps from airplanes even when the engine’s not on fire.
As discussed in his TED talk, Dr. Bill Thomas, suggests that it does not occur to the younger person that he values his grandfather to the extent that the old man engages in activities associated with youth.
Recently, I came upon a twist on this attitude in an appalling concert review which appeared in the Seattle Times. This is how the author, Charles R. Cross, began:
Patti Smith is 66 years old, but at the Neptune Theatre Wednesday night she put on a vibrant and energetic performance that one would expect from someone 50 years her junior.
Mr. Cross’ review went on in that vein with four more sentences describing what a wonderful concert is was, followed by the word but and apparent astonishment that any one as old as Patti Smith could put on such a great show.
At one point, he also referred to her “…surprising awareness of the pop-culture mainstream.”
It occurs to me that the reviewer may actually have though he was complimenting the performer. If one strips away the the ageist language, he is saying that Patti Smith was vibrant and energetic and that her voice has never sounded better. Why not just leave it at that?
I love the way she shakes out her hair as she begins to sing. What do you think?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice post. It’s too bad that the way that people often choose to compliment those of us who are older is by saying that we have youthful attributes. Doing so is to pretend that we are something we aren’t, and that’s a slight of who we are.
Bob Ritzema recently posted..What Matters Most to Assisted Living Residents
Thanks, Bob. I’ve been reading all the posts and comments on Changing Aging, including the post by Martin Bayne and your recent blog post, and thinking about them until my brain aches.
I agree that “purpose” is hugely important to all of us–when we’re working at a job, when we decide to keep doing what we’ve been doing so well for so long, when we retire, when we need some asistance with daily care.
I’m with you, Madeleine. Those little words “still” and “but” reveal a world of misguided thinking. Patti Smith rocks, period!
Debra Eve recently posted..The Magnificent Folly of Mary Somerville
Debra, As you say, “Patti Smith rocks, period!” I was also struck by an earlier review in the Seattle Times of Glenn Campbell’s concert as part of his Goodbye Tour. The family began the tour after Glenn was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. The review (by a different writer) acknowledged the signs that the disease was progressing and also described Glen’s voice and guitar playing as outstanding.
We saw Boz Skaggs last night (68?) and I don’t believe the audience was thinking of his age at all.
I hope you complained to the misinformed Patti Smith reviewer.
I certainly did complain. I wrote a letter to the Seattle Times, and it was published on March 7, 2013. I began by saying that I was appalled by Mr. Cross’ review and concluded with a paragraph nearly identical to the last paragraph in my post.
Just as with the Boz Skaggs concert you saw, opinions about the concert may vary, but “What’s age got to do with it?”
Here, after a Duane Allman concert, the reviewer wrote sneeringly about the age of the crowd rather than the music. We complained and the paper published my friend’s review.
Jeanne, That’s exactly what we should do when media cover a performance in a disrespectful or condescending way, based on the age of the performer or his audience. If we submit letters to the editor, it may help raise consciousness about the negative stereotypes which the paper is perpetuating.